(if you think they aren’t as good as the comics)
Holy shit! The rage is strong in geek land again. Marvel/Fox is releasing some footage about that new X-men film ‘Age of Apocalypse’. Yeah, Apocalypse looks like some weird seventies Doctor Who swamp monster, part of some ancient warrior caste.
Even though this is my favorite story arc of the classic X-men, I’m not going to be bothered too much about it. I mean, there are various reasons why you shouldn’t be having these crazy expectations. Sure, I did watch a bunch of the films much later on my pc and sure they were enjoyable. Did I expect the same magic as I did when I was a child? No… Ok, lets start with some numbers.
1. It’s NOT a Marvel product
No matter how your view on crime and punishment is, the end product is no longer in the hands of Marvel, but the movie company they sold it too. Happens that this is FOX, not known for their subtle ways I guess. Sure, there’ s one hell of a producer behind the cameras, but you have to start realising that this film is not made for you, the comic book or animated show loving geek, but for that audience of millions that needs to feed the box office with moneys. It needs to appeal to that, so the ‘complexities’ and spin-off storylines are not in there. It’s sad, sure, but the way of things.
2. You’re not 12 anymore
Remember how you were baffled by Santa Claus as a kid? How adults seemed like heroes and the world was all good? The perspective as a child is very different and you are no longer that. Those complexities and world-changing ideas you think you found in that comic book once, were probably just you growing up a little bit. You’ve changed, but the X-men haven’t really.
The classic stories will always be great, because they came to you on an age when you were full of wonder and easily impressed by them. Reliving them in a new form, without them being told in the same way and without you expecting them, will prove that the stories are not that dense and full of meaning. It kinda rhymes with the beef Simon Pegg has with superhero films. It’s not like the makers are trying to make it more mature, special effects are a shortcut to succes.
3. You know that he’ s not Charles Xavier…
You have these ideal images of the characters from the comic and now you have a bunch of flawed, human figures in their place. You know that Ian McKellen is actually Gandalf and that Patrick Stewart really belongs on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. Ok, yes! They are not in this film! James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are, two guys you’ve probably seen killing it in any other film they were in, so wrapped up in different roles and faces… Sophie Turner is always going to be the Stark girl from Game of Thrones and Jennifer Lawrence is the chick who’s titties you’ve probably seen thanks to that phone hack incident. If she played anyone else than Mystique, that would seriously taint the image of perfection of these characters.
What I’m saying is, you’ll probably feel like not a single actor is good enough for their role (except Hugh Jackman, y’all love Hugh Jackman), because of this idealized image you have of your favorite franchise. Let it go, it’s not this and if that’s the attitude you’re going to bring, no one will share their popcorn with you.
4. The Bad Guy is going to suck, because there’s no Ian McKellen
Let’s face it, the only decent bad guy depicted in this series of films was Magneto. The cold rationale, the persistence and humanity, that was all Ian McKellen and he was awesome. Specially opposite Patrick Stewart. Every other villain kinda sucked. Vinnie Jones as the Juggernaut? Come on…
Apocalypse should be larger than life, almost divine in a way, but he won’t be. He is going to look like a bad reproduction of a Mortal Combat villain (did you ever see that show? That sucked balls…) or one of those other nineties doofy, low-budget shows. Why? Because that’s how it’s going to be.
5. There’s only so much you can get out of a good thing….
There’s a bunch of films out now, and it seems to have run its course. There were 3 Lord of the Rings films. That was it, that was a good thing and for many reasons there was not more. That was also it, that was the material. So why was The Hobbit, a much slimmer little book, brought in 3 films as well? Because they were milking it for whatever it was worth. Is that a bad thing? Yes, it usually is and gets the viewer swamped in overdone dramatic cut-scenes, special effect extravaganza end very, very little narrative. This may be a personal Peter Jackson rant, but the point is valid. Set your limits, do not keep going on milking stuff.
The time of the films that get a part 10 is way behind us. The thing is, good things come to an end and even the great cast of actors is not going to carry this concept into the future.
I’m just awaiting the disappointment of ‘Gambit’ (Channing Tautum, wtf?) and the long awaited ‘Deadpool’. I’ll go into that fully knowing that it’s not going to be the awesome I expect, but maybe I’m just a bit sadomasochistic…. Who knows…
I did like Guardians of the Galaxy. What do you think?